Showing posts with label open letters. Show all posts
Showing posts with label open letters. Show all posts

Monday, November 26, 2007

Open Letter II

Dear Asshole Neighbor,


Please do not throw your your cigarette butts out your window. I do not want your trash on my window sill. What if you flicked it out the window and it fell all the way down and landed in some poor shmuck's coffee?

Fuck you,

Your Angry Neighbor

Monday, October 15, 2007

Venting

Dear Students of mine,

I'm tired of marking your shit wrong. Follow the directions I gave you so I don't have to spend so much time correcting your avoidable errors. You'll never pass organic chemistry without paying attention to our construct.

-Your overworked instructor

**


Dear Neighbors with dogs,

Pick up after your dog after it craps on our sidewalks. Its really disgusting to leave it out.

-Your neighbor that is not a coprophiliac


***

Dear Lost Souls Cafe,

OK seriously, must ya'll be closed on a Saturday? Everytime I walked passed by your closed gate (on a Saturday), I almost always see some dissapointed and slightly confused person look down the alley through the bars hoping that somehow you guys are really open.

-A frequent customer that would like to consume your products on Saturdays

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Dear Push Emporium,

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! I HAVE SUCH STRONG CUSTOMER LOYALTY TO GET MY STUFF DRY CLEANED THERE!!!!COME BACK!!!! Where did you go?

-Deeply dissapointed to se you go