Dear Students of mine,
I'm tired of marking your shit wrong. Follow the directions I gave you so I don't have to spend so much time correcting your avoidable errors. You'll never pass organic chemistry without paying attention to our construct.
-Your overworked instructor
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Dear Neighbors with dogs,
Pick up after your dog after it craps on our sidewalks. Its really disgusting to leave it out.
-Your neighbor that is not a coprophiliac
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Dear Lost Souls Cafe,
OK seriously, must ya'll be closed on a Saturday? Everytime I walked passed by your closed gate (on a Saturday), I almost always see some dissapointed and slightly confused person look down the alley through the bars hoping that somehow you guys are really open.
-A frequent customer that would like to consume your products on Saturdays
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Dear Push Emporium,
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! I HAVE SUCH STRONG CUSTOMER LOYALTY TO GET MY STUFF DRY CLEANED THERE!!!!COME BACK!!!! Where did you go?
-Deeply dissapointed to se you go