Saturday, January 5, 2008

Downtown News

One issue of downtown news equals a few days of toilet reading.

The other day I found that I have already gone through the previous issue of Downtown News, and I did not have the latest issue around. So I went downstairs to the free standing Downtown News stand outside of my building to pick up an issue.

It was completely empty, as were the other news stands. I then went a block away to the other nearest Downtown News stand and it was also empty, along with the other news stands adjacent to it. I walked another block to another Downtown News stand and the same thing. Three identical data points. Something was up.

Being the obsessive person that I am, I put "having to go" on temporary hold and walked a few blocks to see if there were any newspapers anywhere. ANY newspaper. - "Okay, just two more blocks then I'll go home" kept adding up and next thing I knew I was lightly jogging all over the historic core for a newspaper to read.

EVERY SINGLE NEWSPAPER DISPENSER WAS EMPTY. This was really fuck'n weird. I have simply never seen the likes of it.

After a half of hour of roaming all over the historic core, it was time to call it quits and go home to do my thing. When I got to my building,, I saw a man walking passed the original newspaper dispensers right outside my building. He was pushing a blue shopping cart filled with newspapers.

ME: Hey, are you... delivering papers?

PERSON: No, I am collecting them to recycle. I am two months pregnant and I am just trying to get a bite to eat.

ME: Oh, OK. You gotta do what you gotta do.

I look at her neck and notice no signs of an Adam's apple. I consider myself to have a pretty good "gender dar", but damn I love it when my assumptions are wrong. I took a few steps closer to take a look inside her cart, I saw massive stacks of Downtown News papers!!!

PERSON: Do you want one?

ME: Umm.. yes please.

PERSON: I'm just trying to get a bite to eat.

ME: Here you go.

I reached into my purse and gave her something. We said bye and then I went home.

I have heard that a significant amount of women in skid row purposely take on masculine exteriors to pass as men as a way to minimize sexual harassment. I am pretty curious about this.

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